The fire is getting hot

You know those moments when you weren't expecting to have your picture snapped? Well this is one of them. But I posted it because it is pretty much the way I look all of the time. Life with seven: fun, chaotic, trying, tiring, busy, happy, scary, exhausting, uplifting, and overall best life so far. Truly. But in the interest of full disclosure, the highs are the highest, and the lows are bad too. Not the lowest ever because, well we'll leave the skeletons where they are. But this is a time of guilt about... well everything really. A time of people telling me that I have too many. Why not public school, then you could have a break? Of many callings-five between the both of us. Of middles and littles going unnoticed for too long. Of trying to figure out what to feed these children who are allergic to cow's milk. Of baking our own bread to avoid milk and therefore waiting, waiting, waiting for it to rise as who can remember to get started on that dough first thing in the morning. Of feeding children popcorn (not microwaved so that counts for something) and bananas for lunch because the bread still isn't done. Of feeling bad that bigs have too many responsibilities. Of feeling inadequate to the task set before me. Of wondering if that was inspiration or am I putting words in His mouth. Or worse, do I even have the spirit with me after another hypocritical display of behavior unsuitable for the Kingdom and our home. Of just wondering who I have become and have I set myself up for collosal failure in having rigid standards for myself, let alone my children. So before I go too far down this slippery slope, I will end with the fact that I am sustained by priesthood blessings and an assurance from the spirit that this is my great work. So because of that we press on. Grateful. Blessed. Humbled. Loved. Despite how tired I look and the spit up on my shoulders.